disclaimer

I don’t mean to come across as one who over spiritualizes everything. However, as Kenny and I study theology and push toward vocational ministry that beckons us from the future with an ever nearer voice, God, and the things He is doing in our lives and in His creation are things that we think about. A LOT. I would even venture to say perhaps that it might be more than the average person. But given the specific call on our little family’s life, should anyone really be surprised? When I write in this blog about things that happen in our lives, or when I write about things I’m thinking about, I’ve realized there always seems to be an undertone or even overtone of spirituality. Instead of apologizing for it, I realized I need to embrace it because that’s who we are… that’s who I am. I am the kind of person who likes to dream about why things are the way they are. Why I’ve met the people I’ve met. Why I’ve had relationships that I’ve had. Why things happen the way they do. I know all have their purposes, and all, in one way or another, shape and mold me now as they always have. I want to look at the pieces of the puzzle and try to fit it together. I like to ponder what the grander scheme of God is that I can’t see from my perched position in the universe. What is He doing? Why does He allow certain things? I enjoy allowing my mind to wander and dream through possibilities and ponder connectivity. I really do approach much of life in this fashion. I didn’t realize this so much before I started a blog, but I more easily see that much of what I write reflects what I think about which is God, His creation, me and my family, and the implications of believing what I do and how it impacts the world for better or for worse.

I just needed to get that off my chest so that if you have any inclination to read this blog, you know exactly what your getting yourself into with continued posts. Ahhh. Okay. Carry on now. Thank you. Buh bye.

for your listening pleasure

If you are looking for some new music for the summer, these two soundtracks are amazing. Take a listen and thumb through their songs. Each page has only a small sampling of the CD's - my favorite in this sample of Once is When Your Mind's Made Up and my favorite out of these choices from Into the Wild is Hard Sun. Kenny and I have really enjoyed listening to them. Our enjoyment of these CD's in no way overshadows our excitement for the upcoming Dave Matthews concert. We haven't seen them since '06, which is extremely odd since we've been to every concert in our city (and a few others) since we've been married. The countdown is on!


I am trying not to think about it too much because when I do, I get so excited, I can hardly stand it! If you have been to a DMB concert, you know exactly what I'm talking about - they are one of the greatest live bands ever. Definitely the best I've ever seen.

christian cheese

These guys are hysterical. They call themselves, "God's Pottery." I first saw them this past week on Last Comic Standing where their whole act totally makes fun of powderpuff Christianity. And from my observations, the powderpuffy gunk is annoyingly extant today.

The act is really funny and I thought, sadly, this is probably what so much of the world thinks of us (Christians). Quack-bags full of fluff - and really, who could blame them for what they too often see of Christians?

But seriously, I've thought about what it is about Christians that can be so incredibly annoying to the watching world. I think one huge thing is Christians tend to answer people and their problems, as well as the world's by saying and thinking things like, "Just pray more." "Read the Bible more." "Give it to God." "If there is something wrong, you must not be really giving it to God or not praying enough, or hanging out with Christians enough." bla bla bla bla bla bla...

This isn't helpful at all. It doesn't even deal with any foundational truth. I'll write more on that later. But for now, I'm going to sit back and laugh. Laugh hard. There is a lot of comedy to be had in the truth.

feeling foggy

I want to write. I’m not sure what to write. As I think about what I want to say here, I find myself in pensive silence. I know I’m going to sound dramatic, but I felt like starting up a blog was something I needed to do and I honestly don’t fully understand why. And now that I find myself with little to say, I really don’t understand it.

There is actually a lot to talk about. I had a phenomenal weekend with my little family. Kenny and I celebrated our 6-year wedding anniversary yesterday – we had so much fun celebrating it. We have all sorts of wonderful journeys and life lessons from those 6 years alone, not to mention the ones in this past year… in this past week even. We have exciting things going on in our lives. Lots on the horizon. We are both learning a lot and growing in specific areas that get us excited. I just feel uncomfortably vain and self-indulgent going into detail about it here. But isn’t that what a blog is? I’m confused. When the fog lifts and I’m able to understand what this thing is really supposed to be for me, I’ll let you know.

reflections

No one told me that my child would be a little, lively, walking mirror where upon I gaze and behold my angst in all its glory. Yes, folks, its that time when I actually have to start watching what I say and what I do, watch how I behave and how I treat people, watch what gets me angry and what I do with that anger. I have this little sponge attached to my hip that soaks in every last bit of all that is me. He processes and produces. And let me tell you, I have not been reminded of this in moments of good, selfless, loving kindness.

It is funny to me that I am entrusted to teach this little guy how to interpret the world when I can barely do so myself. I never expected that I would welcome the refinement that comes into my life as I fix my eyes upon the mirror that my child delicately holds reflecting me. Isn't it ironic that enumerable times, he is the one teaching me?

crickets chirping and other things

A couple of people I've seen and spoken with lately have asked why I haven't blogged recently. I promptly think to myself, "Well, I didn't know you were reading it to even miss it." But there are also some other reasons that are the case. I've had a hard time finding time or I haven't felt the inspiration to write about anything in particular. Also, this past week Ben has woken up early from his naps and then I never get around to posting for the rest of the day. Lastly, as cathartic as posting can be, sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself. By the way, in case you are interested in helping me feel like I'm not talking to myself, I invite you to comment or interact. Don't be shy, you can leave anonymous comments... I'd never know who you are or where you're from.

On to other things.

I had a really nice Mother’s Day. I didn’t know if it would be the relaxing mom’s day that I hoped for since we had a lot of traveling to do, but it turned out to be really nice.

We went with my parents to their church on Mother’s Day. Afterwards we went to my mom and dad’s house for a yummy brunch. And after that, we went to Kenny's family (over an hour away). Yes - very busy, and in case you were wondering, we are rethinking how to do all the holidays.

I digress... My parents' church has such beautiful services and I love the teaching/preaching from their head pastor. As to be expected, his sermon had to do with mothers and parenting. He said so many things that resonated with my heart, but there was one in particular that stood out to me. He said, “we need to make it easy for our kids to do the right thing.”

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it for a bit. I know... its good stuff, right?

Part of training them “in the way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6) is correcting the wrong way and teaching the right. Making the right thing an easy thing to choose is the noble duty of parents. Another thing he talked about was just being present with your kids. Quality time is important, yes, but so is quantity... even though society tells us differently. How will we ever be able to impact our kids in any real way if we aren't around for much of their daily lives?

Lastly, the pastor prayed in end to his sermon and he asked God that He would help us to "bend our thoughts and will toward Him." I thought that was such a beautiful picture - bend my thoughts and will toward Him - not only for myself, but as a wife and for the healthy growth and nurture of my child. There is really no other way.

pictured are Ben and his good friend, Cora

spiritual fluff

What does it mean to hear from God?

What does it look like for God to speak into your heart? Give you instruction? Provide direction?

These concepts have been weighing ever so heavily on my heart and I didn’t even understand the extent of it until recently. If I were to explain the whole process and why these questions have come to the forefront, this would be a much longer and involved post than it already is. I’ll spare you that. Maybe I’ll tell you about it the next time we meet.

The quick of it is I started asking the questions because I had been hearing different people in different situations say things like, “I heard the Lord say bla bla bla..." Or, “God told me yada yada yada…”

I wondered, “What do these people mean?” I know from being a Christian myself, and frequenting Christian circles, what these people do not mean. They do not mean they heard an audible, thunderous voice from above. So I asked, “What do they mean then? Are they talking about some verse in the Bible that seems to speak to something they are going through or a question they have? Is it a perception in one’s mind? A type of knowing in one’s heart? What is it?

If the former were true, it could be the case that the Word was being handled properly and applied well to a true life situation. Or, it could instead be the case, which has been my experience on more than one occassion, that the person could be pulling a verse in the Bible out of context and applying it to some obscure situation or question. The verse is rendered meaningless, as the original and intended teaching was stripped away. What you are left with is a new and wrong meaning used for self-edification rather than true, accurate teaching for God-glorification.

If the latter were true, it seems to me that what is really going on is that one’s mind is being informed by their own heart and conscience which may be informed and influenced by the Spirit - or maybe not. We have to remember we are still human and fallen from perfection even more than our own hearts can understand or know. So how can we trust ourselves fully and believe that what perception or knowing we experience is truly a right interpretation from the perfect God of the universe?

Let me be clear - I believe that God speaks today. I believe His Word, the Bible, is living and active, speaking into people's lives even now. I believe God uses people and situations in our lives everyday to carry out His purpose and teaching. I'm just not entirely convinced He is always speaking in the ways we think or that He is always saying the things we think He is.

The bottom line is this - we need to take care not to interpret our subjective human experience unfiltered through the objective truth of scripture. All must be tested against and filtered through the Word, and the Word, which is the final authority, must be handled accurately. When you boil it all down, afterall, it can be a matter of life and death.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” -Psalm 19:14