its days like these

Ben and I went with my grandma shopping this morning. It was a beautiful day. The sun was bright between the passing billows of clouds, and the temperature was unseasonably comfortable. As I helped my grandma in and out of the car, it struck me how different these days are than days past. I remember when she used to drive me to the malls and we would go shopping for hours. She would patiently wait for me to pick out whatever I wanted (I was and am still annoyingly indecisive). Today we couldn't walk that far because it hurts her too much. Getting in and out of the car isn't what it used to be. Its uncomfortably strange to experience the contrast of earlier days to now. Makes you think. We had great fun.

After our short trip to the mall we went back to my grandparents' home where my grandpa was merrily waiting and excitedly wobbled over to us for hugs and to wrap Ben up in his arms and play with him. I have the sweetest picture on my cell phone (I don't know how to get it off the phone onto here) of my grandpa reading to Ben who was relaxed as can be sitting on great-grandpa's lap. I knew my grandpa loved it. He ate it up.

Ben and I stuck around for lunch with them and then back home for nap (for Ben and mom). As I was going home I thought of how incredibly thankful I am for days like these where I get to hang with my 80+ something grandparents and my son, let them dote on their great grandson, let him adore them, and I drink in how sweet this time is. I truly cherish this in my heart. Its been a really good day.

checking in

Just wanted to drop in and say hello. We are doing well, I am happy to say. We've had a lot going on and if you read my previous post, you know that is a VERY good thing for me. We had graduation parties, getting together with friends, going to local farms, birthday parties, baby showers, baseball games, Dave Matthews concert (it was wonderful - we are just getting over the depression that its over for us until next year), yard work, parks, etc. etc. I've especially loved anything we've done around the city or outdoors. That is what makes me feel alive and it is also what Ben loves to do - so that makes it easy. Yep, we are very well over here - and I hope you are well over there.

pondering

“Seek happiness and you will never find it. Seek righteousness and you will find you are happy.” - Martin Lloyd-Jones

the blues

There is something I fine utterly strange about myself. It actually sorta drives me a little nuts and doesn't make a lot of sense. So here it is; I find myself having more blah days in the summer than any other time of the year. I don’t fully understand this. I’ve never really been a person prone to blah-ness, but I’ve found it happening the past couple of years – but really only during the summer. When I was working full time, I never experienced the blahs, but since being a stay-at-home mom, I have. But really only during the summer. Strange, right? So I’ve spent time thinking about this, trying to understand. I have a few ideas. For one, things come to a screeching halt in the summer. I’m not someone who likes to halt. I like a lot going on. I thrive when I have a full plate. I don’t have a full plate in the summer. Everything that usually keeps me busy in the regular school year (yes, I still live by semesters) is done for three or so months. Staying busy helps keep me organized and orderly. When I don’t have much going on I find myself wasting more time doing nothing. This past week was one of those weeks. With Monday looming, I fear next week might be more of the same.

Here is some more weirdness - when my husband gets home from work, all is right with the world again and the blah isn't there. Weekends are also typically really wonderful. Not everyday is blah, it just gets blah if I have nothing going on for several days in a row. I find this all very strange. Don't most people like downtime and freedom to do whatever they want with all their time? And having that option in the summer? I guess I need balance - some work, some play, some schedule, some freedom. I'm concluding that too much of any one thing isn't good... even if that one thing is a good thing.