nesting

We have had an extremely busy weekend staying at home. That's right. We barely left our doorstep and yet managed to work non-stop and well into the evenings. Why? We have been switching our whole house around; moving the office downstairs, Ben's old room changing over into the baby girl's new room, old office now Ben's room, kitchen cabinets switched around to make room for bottles and other baby stuff, going through old baby clothes and pulling out the gender neutral or girly looking stuff... I have admittedly been a crazy woman who is mirroring mania by DSM-IV standards. I know its my nesting burst of energy before I can't stand for very long, sit for very long, lay in one position very long, and yet take V E R Y L O N G to simply move. I know I'm hitting the nesting period a little early this pregnancy, but I'm at home with my toddler who is excited about all the changes he is getting to experience too, which makes it all the more fun. He is now in his big boy bed! Granted, he falls out of it. But nonetheless, he is "in" the big bed. (note to self: get rails)

My sweet husband has worked so hard these past few days, doing all the manly stuff for me (heavy lifting, moving, etc.). He has been so sweet and supportive of my nesting - and by nesting I mean my crazy mania - even though its happening early and right before a very busy week for us (Christmas week). Well, my baby girl just decided to either or shove an elbow or a foot into my bladder, so its time for me to go... and by go, I mean, you know... go.

makes me smile

It cracks me up that my son's favorite book to read while on the pot dropping a deuce is "My Daddy and Me."

He told me yesterday that I was a "sweet mama."

We were in a public and crowded bathroom Saturday while out shopping (because that's what I do all day now... no, not shop... pee) and I hauled my almost 3-year old, newly potty trained son with me in the stall. At midstream relief he said, "You're doing a great job, mommy!" I tried not to make eye contact with the people who were smiling at us as he confidently led the way out of the stall. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my great job and all... its just... well, you know.

I love it when I have these mature sounding conversations with my little guy. I ask him about something he's doing and he says, "Well actually, mommy, I'm..." (as he corrects what I've stated).

I love it that he can tell a difference when I'm in my usual comfortable sweats, tennis shoes, no make-up and ponytail to when I get dressed up. "You look beautiful, mommy," he'll say when I'm dressed up with make-up on. If I'm wearing something other than sweats during the week, he usually asks, "Where are we going, mommy?"

I love it that we can be watching cartoons together and he teases me. I was laying down with my head next to his lap and in my not yet fully awake state I realized he was putting Cheerios in my hair.

I love having a little guy - he is so much fun and I just love watching him grow and mature into this precious, silly, clever, fun boy. I am also so ecstatic that I'll get to experience raising a girl too. Yep, we are going to welcome a little girl into the world in the coming months! Ben is also excited, talking about how he is going to play with his baby sister and share his toys (I'll let you know how that turns out!) In the meantime, bring on the pink!

seasons

Its dark and cloudy outside. Rainy and cold. It’s the kind of day that melancholy knocks at the window, begging for attention. As I look outside my window, I find the morning serene and beautiful. The weather today won’t keep me inside, watching from afar the death of the fruits and labor of spring. I’m going to step right in the middle of it and breathe it in deeply.

There is nothing like children to remind you how beautiful every day is, in and of itself. Ben will often ask on days like these, “Mommy, is it beautiful outside?” “Yes,” I’ll say. “It is beautiful today.”

The last few months have been extremely busy for me, giving me little time to reflect and finding only moments to ponder and connect the pieces and events of life together. The things that keep me busy during the fall are winding down for the holiday season and won’t pick back up until after. I hope to take these couple of months to spend more time sharing some of the wonderful and some of the more difficult things the past few months have brought. A season of reflection…

I want to teach my son to appreciate each season and day, finding the beauty and glory in them. Even in the most difficult and ugly of days, there is beauty to be found. There is a reflection of glory to be captured. If I want him to learn how to do this, do I not need to be exercising this myself? There is, indeed, beauty and glory in each day, sometimes you just have to look a little harder to find it.

has it been over a month? geez

Where have I been? No, where have YOU been? Okay, you’re right, where have I been… Well, I’ve spent a lot of this summer laying around on my couch feeling like I wanted to puke all over it. I could hardly eat anything for almost 3 months and had to force food down my throat. Cleaning poopy diapers or removing turds from the potty chair about sent me over the edge into hurlville every. single. day. My poor husband had to hold down the fort and was a total champ the whole time. Why all the drama? Early this summer we found out baby #2 is on the way. We are excessively happy and now that I have energy and no nausea, I’m even happier! I still have somewhat of an odd meat aversion - what's up with that?

This summer, overall, has been a very, very good one (besides the whole constant desire to hurl thing). We were able to keep busy, see lots of friends, and just spend a lot of time together as a family. Now that September has arrived, we are back to our busy fall schedules and I couldn't be happier. Hopefully I will continue to have more energy and will be able to keep up with this blog a little better. (mmmk, dad and Kenny?) :)

past and present

Last week Kenny took a few days off work and we spent much of that time doing out-of-the-ordinary, fun, family things. I loved it. We all loved it. One of the things we did was take the two-hour trek back to my college alma mater. Once we arrived, memories and nostalgia immediately flooded my mind. We decided to get out into the hot day and eat at a favorite pizza place not far off campus. After lunch, back in the car we went to do drive bys past all the places I lived and where I frequented during my time there. Its amazing how much things have changed while yet so much is still same. We ventured out a little on campus, but the day was excruciatingly hot, so we didn’t spend a lot of time doing that. But it was fun while it lasted. The whole time we were there, I found myself reflecting on all the fun and all the heartache, all the goofiness and all the seriousness, and all the hotspots and all the boring spots, and all the glory and all the shame. Its funny how one doesn’t really exist much without the other…

It was a lot of fun to go back there, but I realized even though I had mostly amazing memories and fun and funny reflections, I still had an aching emptiness as we passed all the old spots. I concluded that each time I visit there nowadays, there will always be holes and emptiness... right along side the fondness and joy. Funny how one doesn’t really exist much with out the other…

The emptiness is there because that town and every place I stepped and hung out will never be the same to me since missing now are all the people who made it what it was to me during those formative years. So many memories - so many people who played significant and major roles in making me who I am today. I love those people. I miss those people. I miss what that town used to be.

Late that afternoon, we finally headed out. Even though there was that ache of missing dear and wonderful friends who have deep parts of my heart, there was also great joy and peace as I was back in the car with my husband and my son, driving back home. To our home. With the two men whom I love more than I can say. I found that for me it was a healing experience to bring my present into my past a little since I can’t really escape bringing my past with me to my present.

no soup for you!

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve just simply become overly sensitive since I’ve gotten older. Other times I wonder if the world missed their meds that morning. But mainly I wonder what the heck has crawled up society’s collective buttocks over the last 10 years that has made everyone so (bleeping) crabby! On any given day, I could easily give a play by play of the idiocy of the general public – especially those from whom I expect some semblance of customer service.

For example, I was recently at a new doctor’s office so I wasn’t immediately privy to how things went down at that particular office. So I did what anyone would have done - I went to the reception desk. As I moved closer looking directly at the woman behind the desk, while no one else was around but us, the receptionist continued to stare lifelessly at her computer screen. “Um, hello…” I said with a trace of question in my voice, “I have a 10:00 appointment for a-” “Sign in right over there,” she answered gruffly and pointing while barely looking up at me from behind her obviously very interesting computer screen. Afterall, not only do receptions receive patrons, they most importantly stare off purposelessly into computer screens, stacks of paper, and/or desk drawers. RUDE!

I could also tell the story of the crabby middle aged man whom we let go in front of us at the Bread Co. even though he was a complete ignoramus. But I won’t lest this turn utterly counterproductive. My point is, why does it seem that everyone is so mean to each other? It seems like everyone feels so entitled and everyone is so distracted by their own entitlement that no one really stops to care for anyone else anymore. If I wasn’t so crabby, I’d work really hard to do something to change it.

summertime

Where has the time gone? We have been busy...

playing ball






playing trucks


taking naps

I'll have more to say later. Right now I have to go watch crappy summertime shows on TV.