50 is the new 75

This weekend was wonderful. I know I seem obsessed with weather, but everyone around these parts would agree its been a very long, cold, dark winter. Sunday afternoon we packed up the family, went out to lunch and then for a long drive through some Ozark foothills. Even though everything was still pretty brown and... well... dead, the sky was a rich baby blue with cottony clouds enveloping the sun from time to time. It was great. It was still kinda cold - but lest you think it kept people inside, the walking/riding trails were packed full. Our neighbors were outside talking and laughing with each other, and I saw a couple kite fliers and ball players. However, it has always struck me as funny, and Sunday was no different, that in the spring when it hits about 50ish outside as Sunday was, people break out the bikes, baseballs and gloves, shorts, and walk, run, or ride outside like its 75 degrees. But when its about 50ish in the fall, people are breaking out their sweaters and jackets or just stay inside while the friendly neighborhood chatter dulls to a murmur.

But here we are, in the 50-somethings pretty consistently now and I can turn down the heater, open the front door, inhale the fresh air without forming ice crystals in my nostrils, and enjoy longer hours of daylight. I think we can safely say we made it over the hurdle of winter. YAY!

ch ch ch ch changes

There is something around the corner, I can just feel it. I have butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. The page is getting ready to turn and I have no idea what new plot line will emerge in the next chapter. And so I sit. And watch. And wait.

It feels like God is fixing our footsteps in a direction but everything is so cloudy still that I can't really see what is going on. It feels like the spiritual realm is hard at work around us and our hearts are stirring within us. It feels like God is going to make a move in our lives, I just don't know where, how, what or when. I want it to happen quickly, but these things take time.

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord when he delights in his way."
Psalm 37:23

Lord, help this family to delight in your way and give us ears to hear.

more to come...

can you hear me singing?

I'm so glad to be writing in front of a window that has sunshine pouring through instead of gloom funk. So far the 5-day forecast says its gonna be in the 40's with lots-o-shine and this, mama likey. I can't believe the difference the sun has made. I have had the energy to be productive the past few days and for that I am incredibly grateful. I even made dinner last night. So what if it was frozen leftovers from a couple of weeks ago? A meal not involving take-out is a good one these days!

In all actuality, I love cooking. I especially love cooking when there is fresh, locally grown produce involved. I really got into that kind of meal planning this past year because it tasted so much better and we had so much fun going to farmer's markets or the actual farms where the food was grown. Not only did everything taste better, but its so much healthier.

My interest in healthier living (to the point where it actually changed how I, and therefore we, lived) began about a year ago. My beautiful daughter's birthday (which we just celebrated) really is the marker for all our changes. It all started with a Jillian Michaels book and ended with me using a crystal rock for deodorant and drinking raw milk! There is oh-so much more, and I look forward to sharing my story as time goes on. But for now, I want to share an incredibly refreshing salad that I found in one of my new cookbooks. Just as an aside, I started using a lot of recipes out of a vegan cookbook, not because we don't eat meat (believe me, my boys would NEVER let that happen!), but because I realized we eat too much meat. A couple weeks ago I made a completely vegan meal for my family and everyone loved it. I also made it for friends we had over another night and they loved it too - so its unanimous!

This salad was one of the recipes I used in our completely vegan meal. I highly recommend it for a time when you are in the mood for a refreshing, salad with not-so-common vegetables. It also keeps for a couple of days - even with the dressing on it. I was a little concerned about the taste of a salad with only lemon juice squeezed on top and olive oil drizzled, but believe me, it really pulls all the flavors together and makes it taste light and refreshing. Try it and let me know what you think.

I'll give you the measurements listed in the book, but I used what I thought seemed right or to taste for us. By the way, this is from "Vegan Express" by Nava Atlas.

--4-6 ounces tender greens (baby greens, arugula, baby spinach, watercress, or a mixture - I used a baby greens mix with some extra arugula thrown in)
--1 cup green sprouts (such as sweet pea shoots or broccoli sprouts - Trader Joes has really good sweet pea shoots... I have never had them and they are so yummy in this salad)
--1 granny smith apple, diced
--1/2 medium daikon radish, sliced (this was something I never tried and I loved the flavor)
--2 large stalks celery or bok choy, sliced (I used both)
--1/2 medium cucumber, unpeeled (I used hothouse cucumber)
--olive oil or flaxseed oil (I used extra virgin olive oil)
--fresh squeezed lemon juice
--1/4 cup toasted pumpkin seeds (the recipe says optional, but having these in this salad gave the perfect flavor contrast to everything else going on in the salad)

Combine all ingredients, toss and serve.

Enjoy!

glorious ruin

Okay, I’ll say it. This week has been a hard week. It takes a lot for me to admit that because I work hard at keeping things, at minimum, status quo. But nonetheless I have felt, at various times throughout the week, how its looked outside. Its been cold and cloudy with traces of snow on the ground which isn’t even pretty anymore because you can see the ugly brown, dead grass and mud overwhelming the blanket of snow. Why has it been tough? I spent a lot of time thinking about it and discussing this with my husband, who also has had a touch of the ickiness. Our conclusion is it probably is a culmination of things; prolonged days of clouds and cold doesn’t bode well for Midwesterners who are used to crisp, sunny, cloudless winter days with a few snow bursts to accent the beauty of wintertime. This year it hasn’t been so. Lots and lots of dark, cloudy days that make you want to do nothing but stay in bed, pull the sheets over your head and sleep until tomorrow, hoping the next day will be better than the last. Also, we as a family are in a constant state of limbo because my husband just graduated from grad school and is looking for a job which could possibly take us away from our hometown. We feel like we have one foot planted and another poised for action elsewhere… we just don’t know where. This effects looking for preschools, how invested we get in doing home improvement, how much time we invest cultivating new friendships, taking on new projects, and the list goes on.

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I think there’s something innate in all of us that longs for better days, even if we’ve had the blessing of constant superior ones. We long for the better, the more beautiful, and I think that’s part of divine design. I think we are created with a longing for what we were really created for. Perfection - God style. There’s hope that one day this will be so, and that’s what we have to hang on to while down here in the muck and mire. We are created with a foot planted here and a foot poised toward action elsewhere and we won't fully be satisfied until we are where we were truly meant to be... dwelling with our Creator.

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'"
Revelation 21:3,4

Until then, I want to focus on the glory God has graciously housed alongside us while we completely turned our will against him. The things that reflect who he is... like the snowbirds that are slowly reappearing around here giving us a hope for new life in the spring. Like the precious kiss of a big brother on the head of a baby sister who just bumped her head on the couch. Like the scent of turning pages of a great book that you just can't put down. Like a father gathering his children when they run to him to feel his loving arms wrap around them in safety as he walks through the front door. Our hope is this, things as they are now, are not how they will be.

"And he who was seated on the throne said,

‘Behold, I am making all things new.’”

-Revelation 21:5

celebration time!

It’s my husband’s birthday today!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY! And for my husband’s birthday, I got flowers, dinner at a yummy upscale restaurant, a new IPod, and an Ina Garten cookbook (Barefoot in Paris – LOVE IT!).

Our week-long celebration of him began on Saturday. He was at a meeting Saturday morning before our celebration began, and when he came back home mid-morning, he walked through the door with flowers in arm. For me. Just to say, as he put it, how much he was looking forward to spending the evening alone with his wife. (swoon) We had my parents watch the kids while we went out to a wonderful upscale restaurant (which we reserve only for very special occasions, as this one was!). We enjoyed a leisurely dinner of beet salad, goat cheese and pine nuts with beef cheeks, haricot verts and pureed potatoes. Mmmmm! And for desert a warm chocolate torte – very enjoyable.

Also, I had been talking about wanting an IPod for awhile, so after his birthday dinner, my husband took me to the Apple Store and he showed me one he was eyeing for me. I loved it and so on his birthday celebration evening, he bought me an IPod. It was a wonderful night, just to be with my man, and to be able to focus only on each other.

And then..... over the weekend we got this coupon from Borders and we also had leftover money from a gift card, as well as money off their rewards point system. So my husband suggested we use all of that to go get a cookbook that I’ve wanted for awhile but have been waiting since its so expensive. With all the couponage that we had, we got the thing for half-off! Way to go husband!

So, you see, I did really well on my husband’s 35^th birthday!

This exemplifies just the kind of man I married. He is so kind and loving. He goes out of his way to make me feel special and safe. He knows me so completely, like no one ever has, and yet he unconditionally loves me still. And you should see him with our kids. He is an extremely involved father, loving on his kids every second he can, and they deeply adore him right back.

So here’s to the person I admire most in this world, to the person I love more than I could ever dream to verbalize, to the one I am so blessed to entrust myself and our kids to…. Happy Birthday, my love. We have a few surprises for you too and we can’t wait until you get home tonight so we can celebrate you!

the glory of a stay-at-home mom

Before I was a stay-at-home mom/homemaker, I believed life, if I was at home full-time, would be so much more manageable and organized, the family well fed, the home more often clean than not, mail sorted, meals planned, laundry caught up, and life generally orderly. And then I became one.

Fueled by grandiose ideas and illusion, I've still spent a good deal of time trying to accomplish the aforesaid. Why, you may ask? That’s what I said!

The reality is, I've spent more time figuring out rather than implementing how and when to do grocery shopping for the week, how and when to get the laundry done, how to make the bed while my 11-month old opens drawers and pulls out underwear. And all the while the mail piles up for another day as my 4-year old clings to my leg with a low blood sugar meltdown begging for lunch because its been 5 hours since we last ate.

So…………

This is what I finally realized after four years of being a stay-at-home mom – IT DOESN’T MATTER. When my babies are grown I don’t want them to say, “Yeah, our mom was preoccupied and haggard, but boy she could take a mean pile of mail and sort the heck out of it.”

So I am making a conscious effort to lower my expectations of me, set realistic goals, and turn my gaze toward my kids.

I mean, who wants to be distracted from this?

Or would even think about missing a second of this?

So if you’ll excuse me for now, I’m going to go make a mess and I’m not even going to clean it up.

believe it

I can't believe I only posted 4 times in 2009. I can't believe that its been almost 1 year since my baby girl was born. I can't believe that my baby boy isn't a baby anymore. I can't believe my husband finished 6 long years of seminary. I can't believe its so foggy outside that I can barely see across the street from my house. I can't believe a couple of weeks ago we had record breaking cold and now the ever elusive "they" are talking about temperatures in the 60's. I can't believe I can still hear my daughter awake when she was supposed to fall asleep for nap about 30 minutes ago. I can't believe I haven't heard a peep out of my 4 year old who is supposed to be playing quietly in his room for "downtime." I can't believe I'm gonna have to go check on the noisy one who's supposed to be quiet and the quiet one who's supposed to be noisy. I can't believe it may take me another whole year to post something else. Here's to hoping there's more posting in 2010!